Ladies, I’m sharing something I learned on my own about 10 years ago. There was no parental warning; no sage Cosmopolitan columnist’s advice. Simply put, if you’re a woman whose path unfolds as mine did, you will one day trim your nose hairs.

We accept that men’s ear and nose hair is gha-ross.  But while Women’s Health asks its readers to choose between Mr. Bad Breath or Mr. Nose Hair, and Men’s Health simplistically explains to its readers that visible nose hairs are “pretty useless,” both fail to inform women of nose hair’s non-discriminatory probabilities and egalitarian grossness.

My Path to Pruning
As my visual acuity decreased, my make-up mirror magnification increased. Each enhancement furthered an interior dialogue on the freakish nature of my face. Nothing looks good multiplied by 15.

At the point that magnification provided an uncomfortably detailed view of the inside of my nose, the dialogue ceased. It was the nasal cavity equivalent of Eugene Levy’s eyebrows.  (His picture will likely be the first you encounter when you search “actors with large eyebrows.” Go ahead . . . I’ll wait.)

So, the next time I found myself in an airport terminal, I popped into Brookstone, a ubiquitous purveyor of battery-operated gizmos. I stayed just long enough to buy the house brand nose hair trimmer. ($29.99-$34.99)

We’ve been bi-monthly intimate ever since. Note: I’m 5’9″. In general, if you consider yourself taller than most folks you encounter, please, pulllllease read on.

I hazard across a fair number of women taller than me. One encounter hammered two things home in regard to nose hair: 1) the need to remain personally vigilant in its assessment and elimination; and, 2) the need to share my nasal awakening with other tallish women and their friends.

The encounter involved an artist whose days were infused with color and pleasing aesthetics. Her 6-foot or so frame wore a dreamy caftan captured intermittently by a breeze.  A stunning vision, I looked up at her as we conversed but could focus on little else than dark hairs peeking out her nose – hairs resembling the legs of a small spider contemplating escape.

There was nothing for me to say as I had just met her. Even the best of friends must select the right venue for this conversation.  You may feel uncomfortable telling your friend their nose hair needs taming, but they will want to know.  As a friend, you have the same obligation to tell your friend when it’s toilet paper on a shoe, kale in the teeth or a shirt tag sticking out.

Ladies, if you see something – and you keep seeing something – for the love of Pete say something to your taller female friends. (If you’re the type of friend who sees something and says nothing, then read the word, “friend,” with air quotes.)

Stand a step or two above them and let them look up your nose. Whether your nose hairs are trimmed or not, your taller friend will instantly understand the implications of the view from below. Then text them this link – https://www.brookstone.com/pd/nose-and-ear-trimmer-pro/898269p.html.